In what might be the most unexpected twist of the year in both Hollywood and the NBA, comedian and actor David Spade has announced he is “officially retiring from acting” — not for a quiet life, but to fully commit to his “true calling”: professional basketball with the Phoenix Suns.
The announcement came during what was expected to be a light-hearted charity press event at Footprint Center. Instead, fans and media were left in shock as Spade walked up to the podium in full Suns warmups, flanked by head coach James Jones, who appeared completely stunned.
“I’ve spent decades pretending to be other people,” Spade said with a smirk. “Now it’s time to live my truth — as a 5’7″, 60-year-old shooting guard with zero vertical but infinite hustle.”
No, This Is Not a Joke (Apparently)
While initially believed to be a publicity stunt, Suns representatives later confirmed that Spade has been working out with the team for months, running drills and learning plays as part of what insiders described as “an unorthodox but deeply committed training effort.”
Coach James Jones, clearly caught off guard, managed to respond with humor:
“I thought this was an SNL skit… but the man passed his conditioning test and actually made two threes in practice last week. I guess… we’ll see what happens?”
From Comedy Club to Court
Spade, best known for his work on Saturday Night Live, Tommy Boy, and Just Shoot Me, said the decision has been building for years. “I’ve always believed in chasing your dreams — even if everyone else thinks you’re out of your mind.”
He plans to join the Suns as an honorary roster member for select preseason charity games, with limited in-game minutes “if the Suns are up by 40 or down by 50.”
Fans React: Internet Melts Down
Social media exploded within minutes, with reactions ranging from disbelief to roaring support:
“David Spade is a Phoenix Sun. We are officially in the multiverse,” one user tweeted.
“Gonna draft him in my fantasy league just for vibes,” joked another.
Others questioned if this was a prank, with some speculating that Adam Sandler may be behind the scenes as part of a new Netflix mockumentary.
Final Word
When asked how serious he really was, Spade simply smiled and said:
“Hey, if Dennis Rodman could take a midseason vacation in Vegas, I can take a late-career shot at basketball. It’s showtime, baby.”